The Shonai Post! :D

Sometimes you can look back and think, what the Hell was I thinking when I did that? I was so completey wrong! I am happy to be back from it. Yes. I wasted my time and a lot more. But I am glad to have learned what I have, even at the cost of all that. It was a lesson well worth learning. Specially for someone as stupid as me. I guess some people just have to pay a higher price to get the same freaking thing others are getting for a song. Oh well. I am just glad to have been able to get it at all. 

I am a grateful man. Ain't I?

Today was sort of...weird. Did as many random things as I could have possibly done in a space of twenty four hours. Woke up at haf past six and went for my driving class. I was very very pissed as I stood there waiting for my trainer, who chose this very day(when I was bang on time!) to be late. It wasn't all that bad, though. I met this very nice girl at the driving school. Not like we got on like a house on fire or anything. Just that we spoke at intervals about most random things and if I spoke for myself, I thoroughly enjoyed her company! What a way to start a day.

Came home and tried to make some headway with my project designs. Had quite a bawal with my mother over buying the labrador. The father was on my side and acting funny. Which enraged the mother further. Finally I decided to skip lunch, much to my parent's dismay and anger. Went for tuition and was horribly hungry and thirsty. So on my way back got into this really old shabby shop in Gariahaat for a Mughlai Paratha and Mutton Kasha. BURP.

The auto stand had a teeming queue of enthusiastic puja shoppers. After a couple of minutes, I decided to walk home. I stay at Baghajatin. Now, walking is one of those things that really make me happy. So I had not even exhausted half my collection of songs when I found I had reached Jadavpore. The stretch from JU to Baghajatin is a pain in the arse. So I took an auto home. 

Strangely blissful. Not hungry. A lil' tired.

Go screw. You! Ha ha.

Voila!

It's 8th September. Already. 

Almost forgot!

Good day, sir. It's over.

Ha ha. 

Am I good baby? Have I learnt the tricks well?

Here are some of the things I want (I am in a consumerist heaven blegh):

1)  A Mac Notebook Pro.

2)  A Nikon D3.

3)  A Steinway Limited Edition Piano.

4)  A labrador (wheatish white).

The lab I will be getting in a month, i think. Am on the look out for good and reliable breeders. I really know very little. If anyone has any contacts, information, please let me know. Thanks in advance.

I need a month old pup (male) whitish blonde preferably KCI certified.

Fly

I found my sky. It's all shades of grey. I feel my sky opening up to me. The encroachers moving away. Slowly. For good. Not a vibrant one, for sure. But it's mine still.

I want to be a bird in the rainclouds that rumble. Just before it rains. The sky full of silent expectations. A bird soars on the wings of such hopes. No flapping of wings. Just letting the updrifts take you where they want to. Just giving in to the moment. Accepting it. Loving it. And keeping it tucked away somewhere, to be cherished in times to come.

For now, just fly.

If there is one thing that really depresses me, it's mediocrity. Mediocrity of the mind. Of thoughts. Of life. I teach a kid. I asked him one day:

- Tell me, R, what do you want to do when you grow up? What do you dream of?
- I will be a marine engineer.

Pat comes the reply. And before I could ask him anything, he says:

- How much does a marine engineer earn? Papa says a marine engineer can earn lacs of rupees in a month? Really? Is it the highest paid job? How much does he earn really? Five lacs? Ten lacs?...

- But what will you do when you become a marine engineer?

- I will earn a lot of money. I will eat in posh places and relax on the deck all day. I will go places...

I was sad. But I consoled my self saying, he is only a kid. And it's rather mean to judge him based on his words. I am amazed at how many of the people all around me want to be a lot of other things because they want something else that this job or profession will get them. People want to be software engineers not because they passionately love software making, but because they have an idea of the things that this profession brings along. People who want to be actors not because they like acting, but because they want to be rich and famous.

I must make one thing clear here. I have nothing against wanting to be rich or famous or anything at all. But the point is, you should know what you really want to be- an actor? Or famous? You might say, that a good actor will naturally be famous. I disagree. A true actor or a good actor is good because he is passionate about his acting. And not about being famous. One follows the other. But the order is not reversible. Prioritizing is important. And it reflects on your work and life.

Why can I not work solely because I love doing what I do...


There is a lot more I would have liked to say. But I realise that it's getting immensely corny. So I will stop writing here. But i still feel bad about it. I specially hate it when this mediocrity spills into love. I hate it. Anyway.