There are too many people I wanted to meet before I leave. Too many things I wanted to say. But with the maddening running around I had to do to get the documents and provisions together (to be packed in a bag) I had very little time to. Then I thought I would write a mail each to people who matter, and there are quite a few, to tell them that they will be missed when I am gone. But I run out of words. I woke up unusually early today. About 6.30 in the morning. Could not sleep longer. I sat down at the piano. And I found what I was looking for - Robi Thakur. While I was playing I remembered this one poem:
"Jaha kichhu boli aaji shob britha hoi
Mon bole matha nari- e noi e noi :)
Je kothaye hridoy amar poripurnotomo
She kotha phote na keno e binaye momo
She shudhu bhoriya uthi osrur abege
Hridoy akash ghire ghono ghor meghe"
I realised there's one song that's been sung so long and so much that would say all that there is to say. And here it is.
PS: I am leaving tomorrow, Saturday morning. Will reach Ahmedabad in roughly two and a half hours.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
All my bags are packed.
How do you go away? From a city that made you? From the halogen lit streets you walked in the rain? From the songs you sung together so many times that you exactly know where who will sing what? And how? You know where Poulami will break into that harmony. You know where Bimbabati will start nodding her head with a smile and say Ooof! What do you do when you have your own anthems? Where you can tell what song is up next even before Laddu keeps down his glass of Old Monk and picks up his beloved guitar. Where every evening is like a million other. The same songs, the same people, the same Shaat Tollah, the same city lights that send out the same strange transmissions to the grey Calcutta skies and the city sounds far away.
"What novelty is worth that sweet monotony where everything is known and loved because it is known?"
I have attended so many farewell parties. Sung the same songs of togetherness and parting. Come home, shed a tear or two. I remember the day Subhayu left. I cried when I came home. Then suddenly this evening I am seated in the same room, singing the same songs when it all comes back to me and I realise that this time, it is me the songs are for. It's my farewell day.
How do you hold back your tears when Daniel starts playing Leaving on a jet plane? What do you do?
My parents never tire of reminding me time and again that I could have done much better- that I spent my college years doing very little that was 'fruitful'. But today I have come to a point in my life where I can say that I regret not one thing I did in these 5 years. I have lived everyday. I have lived like I have never lived. I have loved. I have made memories. I can remember more days from these past 5 years than I can from the rest of my life.
People often talk about how the only true friends you make are in school - in your childhood. But somehow I met the best people of my life after school. They have molded me in so many ways that it is difficult to tell how I would have been like had it not been for them. I love you all. For your madness and the sanity you bring to my life. And that includes the chayer dokan people, Dhruva, Kaichu and last but not the least Anuj.
And then there is the Poo. I love her. There is no one like her. She is an exceptional woman. She is incredible. I learn from her everyday. It is not often that I will say it on a blog but let me say this tonight - I love you.
Now when I look back at all that I feel terrible about leaving behind, I cannot but feel happy for how much I have lived. For how much I have loved. For how much I am loved. But then they will start playing that strain from Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi and it will fill the dark rooms of Shat Tollah and I will not feel like going anywhere anymore. But what do I do?
"What novelty is worth that sweet monotony where everything is known and loved because it is known?"
I have attended so many farewell parties. Sung the same songs of togetherness and parting. Come home, shed a tear or two. I remember the day Subhayu left. I cried when I came home. Then suddenly this evening I am seated in the same room, singing the same songs when it all comes back to me and I realise that this time, it is me the songs are for. It's my farewell day.
How do you hold back your tears when Daniel starts playing Leaving on a jet plane? What do you do?
My parents never tire of reminding me time and again that I could have done much better- that I spent my college years doing very little that was 'fruitful'. But today I have come to a point in my life where I can say that I regret not one thing I did in these 5 years. I have lived everyday. I have lived like I have never lived. I have loved. I have made memories. I can remember more days from these past 5 years than I can from the rest of my life.
People often talk about how the only true friends you make are in school - in your childhood. But somehow I met the best people of my life after school. They have molded me in so many ways that it is difficult to tell how I would have been like had it not been for them. I love you all. For your madness and the sanity you bring to my life. And that includes the chayer dokan people, Dhruva, Kaichu and last but not the least Anuj.
And then there is the Poo. I love her. There is no one like her. She is an exceptional woman. She is incredible. I learn from her everyday. It is not often that I will say it on a blog but let me say this tonight - I love you.
Now when I look back at all that I feel terrible about leaving behind, I cannot but feel happy for how much I have lived. For how much I have loved. For how much I am loved. But then they will start playing that strain from Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi and it will fill the dark rooms of Shat Tollah and I will not feel like going anywhere anymore. But what do I do?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Learning to Die
And suddenly at this hour, I find a girl who liked Bob Marley, and The Beatles, and Ritwik Ghatak. Who drew graffiti on FB and complained about her mother's midlife crisis. Suddenly death doesn't seem all that far away.
May be this is it. May be death is just a (missed) status update.
Facebook asks: 'What's on your mind?' You quip, 'Mind my arse! I just died. '
Her Facebook test said her life was 70% perfect.
And I hate people who will come up to say that such deaths happen everyday in India and terrorism is the least of our concerns.I am not terrified by terrorism. And I can't feel sad about everyone. I feel sad about things I connect to. I dislike people who try to dictate what I should feel bad about and what not.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Geek Google and Helvetica
And such are the after effects of Helvetica. Had to get it out of my system.
[Click to see the original larger version (80 Kb)]
[Click to see the original larger version (80 Kb)]
Saturday, January 02, 2010
One score Ten
A Happy New Year...
...to begin with in case my computer conks off before I can write anymore. Yes we all say we hate them. But we all know you will read through the list I am about to make now. So here is a list of the things that I have loved about 2009:
1. The winters. January and December. All of it was spent eating, cooking and meeting people. (The cooking and the eating concern food, not the people I met). There were some amazing walks, with a loved one, yes. And although we walk all the time anyway, there is something about Calcutta winters that make them unforgettable. Oh and somehow, I always associate Calcutta winters with the song Autumn in New York. 'It's good to be living again.'
2. I loved working. I met some good people and I learned some important lessons. Plus, I made some money which is not too bad either.
3. The loved one started staying on her own. So there was this entire excitement and tension of finding an apartment (or an establishment, if you like). Then putting an entire household together. The almirah, the curtain, the fan, the spatula, the doormat... you get the drift. Although I have always credited myself to be pretty aware of the requirements of a household I was quite shocked at just how much effort it takes to actually make it happen. It was a huge learning experience. And totally worth it in the end.
4. I cook better! Yes. I have never actually cooked in such quantities so many different kinds of food for so many people in my life. Knowing how to do it is one thing. But the execution is something else. So I learned some of that too. If there is one thing I have really done this year, it is cooking. And big thank you goes out to Panu, Alton Brown and Gordon Ramsay.
5. I love how neat and organized the loved one is! It is incredible. I am extremely happy at how well she manages everything. Frankly I don't think I could ever do it this well. I am happiest however about the fact that she has learned to cook really well and eats healthy homemade food as much as she can.
6. I am very glad I quit my job. Not only because I did what I felt was right, but because I got a lot of time to myself which I spent doing what I like doing.
7. I am happy about Google Wave and about how well Chrome has turned out. With the extensions (like add ons in Firefox) in the current Beta, I can safely say that it is the best browser around. I love it. Muahs to Google. Oh and if you are planning to make your own website/blog at any point please consider joining this campaign.
8. I read a lot more on web marketing, social media now and design and UI now. A lot more on food. I cannot imagine how I would read the number of websites/blogs I do without Google Reader. It is something I recommend to everyone.
9. I started reading books after a hiatus of about a half a year. I did read quite a few good books. I specially loved Sea of Poppies and Empires of the Indus: The Story of a River. The last one I will recommend to anyone interested in history and anthropology in general.
10. I got a Grand Effing Piano in my house and one that is from the 19th century. It's lovely.
11. The best find of the year was How I Met Your Mother and more precisely Barney Stinson. It is one series that I can safely call my Bible. It's legen-wait for it-dary.
What I could have done without:
1. Perennial fights with parents.
2. The hypocrisy at office over the article I had written but was intentionally credited to the boss's brother.
3. A friend who wasn't a friend, after all.
What I am looking forward to in 2010:
1. The Google Phone named Nexus One which is Android based. I heard this rumour today that it could be release as early as January 5th. At least an announcement on the part of Google is expected.
2. The Chrome OS which is visionary. It is not something that will change the world now. But it will redefine the concept of an operating system and set goals for everyone else to follow.
3. Working in TCS. I hope that will happen by March, touch wood.
4. I want to stay on my own even if I am in Calcutta. I need to.
5. A computer that just works. I want one.
Well, that's all. A happy new year to you all. Oh and luckily my computer survived long enough to bring this to you!
...to begin with in case my computer conks off before I can write anymore. Yes we all say we hate them. But we all know you will read through the list I am about to make now. So here is a list of the things that I have loved about 2009:
1. The winters. January and December. All of it was spent eating, cooking and meeting people. (The cooking and the eating concern food, not the people I met). There were some amazing walks, with a loved one, yes. And although we walk all the time anyway, there is something about Calcutta winters that make them unforgettable. Oh and somehow, I always associate Calcutta winters with the song Autumn in New York. 'It's good to be living again.'
2. I loved working. I met some good people and I learned some important lessons. Plus, I made some money which is not too bad either.
3. The loved one started staying on her own. So there was this entire excitement and tension of finding an apartment (or an establishment, if you like). Then putting an entire household together. The almirah, the curtain, the fan, the spatula, the doormat... you get the drift. Although I have always credited myself to be pretty aware of the requirements of a household I was quite shocked at just how much effort it takes to actually make it happen. It was a huge learning experience. And totally worth it in the end.
4. I cook better! Yes. I have never actually cooked in such quantities so many different kinds of food for so many people in my life. Knowing how to do it is one thing. But the execution is something else. So I learned some of that too. If there is one thing I have really done this year, it is cooking. And big thank you goes out to Panu, Alton Brown and Gordon Ramsay.
5. I love how neat and organized the loved one is! It is incredible. I am extremely happy at how well she manages everything. Frankly I don't think I could ever do it this well. I am happiest however about the fact that she has learned to cook really well and eats healthy homemade food as much as she can.
6. I am very glad I quit my job. Not only because I did what I felt was right, but because I got a lot of time to myself which I spent doing what I like doing.
7. I am happy about Google Wave and about how well Chrome has turned out. With the extensions (like add ons in Firefox) in the current Beta, I can safely say that it is the best browser around. I love it. Muahs to Google. Oh and if you are planning to make your own website/blog at any point please consider joining this campaign.
8. I read a lot more on web marketing, social media now and design and UI now. A lot more on food. I cannot imagine how I would read the number of websites/blogs I do without Google Reader. It is something I recommend to everyone.
9. I started reading books after a hiatus of about a half a year. I did read quite a few good books. I specially loved Sea of Poppies and Empires of the Indus: The Story of a River. The last one I will recommend to anyone interested in history and anthropology in general.
10. I got a Grand Effing Piano in my house and one that is from the 19th century. It's lovely.
11. The best find of the year was How I Met Your Mother and more precisely Barney Stinson. It is one series that I can safely call my Bible. It's legen-wait for it-dary.
What I could have done without:
1. Perennial fights with parents.
2. The hypocrisy at office over the article I had written but was intentionally credited to the boss's brother.
3. A friend who wasn't a friend, after all.
What I am looking forward to in 2010:
1. The Google Phone named Nexus One which is Android based. I heard this rumour today that it could be release as early as January 5th. At least an announcement on the part of Google is expected.
2. The Chrome OS which is visionary. It is not something that will change the world now. But it will redefine the concept of an operating system and set goals for everyone else to follow.
3. Working in TCS. I hope that will happen by March, touch wood.
4. I want to stay on my own even if I am in Calcutta. I need to.
5. A computer that just works. I want one.
Well, that's all. A happy new year to you all. Oh and luckily my computer survived long enough to bring this to you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)