the other side of the river-a funny story of a day of cable black-out

There were a thousand things that I could have said that day...no...make it nine hundred and eighty six.A part of me was already rehearsing the dialogues...u don't know what you are saying...but this is so goddamned unfair...but what happened to all the things you said?...and all the things we planned...


...and a part of me settled in the deep knowing, that nothing I do or say would change a thing; that this was one of those points in one's life when vocabulary is a wretched burden...like conscience.


...a part of me wanted to stand up and fight, like a drowning man fights for breath; like people in flood-hit villages fight for ration...


...and a part of me wanted to disappear, just like that, ...like smiles in the times of war; run away from everywhere, from everything I knew, from everything I cared for, from everything I ever, even faintly associated with the dreams that will never be.


...a part of me wanted to cling to every word, every little sigh she let out; like people at Noah's arc hoarded food just before the big flood came...


...and a part of me could not even hear half the things she was said. It wished that I had ears that I could flap close - like the funny little man in the All-Out ad.


...someone inside me said...you can't keep silent like this...wait, this is important; how can you let it pass like this?...You should at least say something moving, you know...there may still be chances, you know...she might be touched, you know...she might wake up oneday with a realisation...you never know...and ,and...


Suddenly, I realised that I was not a part of this...that I was just a spectator...a spectator who watches but does not react...like we watch DD National when the cable connection gets blacked-out...I took the remote and switched off the television...better be without T.V. than watch DD soaps...I was relieved.